22 Reasons why investors won’t fund you (from an arrogant POV)

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As a team of fond start-uppers, we found this piece especially humorous, sobering and arrogant. Top reasons why investors won’t fund you:

  1. Can’t See the Future
  2. “Quarterly MRR”, 100% Gross Margins, and Other Crazy Metrics
  3. Founder Disalignment / Wrong Founder as CEO
  4. Exit Strategy Slide
  5. Lack of Understanding of the Competition
  6. I Wouldn’t Work For You
  7. Too Slow.  And/or Late
  8. Don’t Want Me
  9. Party Round
  10. Convertible Debt and SAFEs if Round Size is Material
  11. No One on the Board Representing the Investors
  12. Any Inappropriate, Sexist, Locker Room, or other Such Comments
  13. Can’t Get to The Point.  I don’t need 28 slides on how Everything is Going To the Cloud
  14. Want to Have Coffee First
  15. Will Only Send Me Information in “Proprietary” Format
  16. Telling Me the Price is Going Up
  17. Messed Up Cap Table
  18. CEO Doesn’t like Sales — and The Hunt
  19. Don’t Understand How I Can Help
  20. Not Aggressive Enough
  21. Bad Crazy
  22. Too Balanced

To be honest – this is only ONE type of investor and also point number 14 is outrageous… Decide for yourself here

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